I've always wanted to draw Jesus, but never did for reasons that could only be known between He and I. It was this evening, without thinking much, hesitant still at first, but it was very brief, and there, the very first sketch of Him.
The other is my left hand that has been given to me. My hands....my sight...I thank God for them.
I've been really dissapointed by many setbacks, especially in my quest to bring my limited skills to the next level.
I've prepared mentally and called/emailed...even sketched a drawing, ready for admission submission. but in the end, nothing was sent because after much calculation on the finances and number of years required, my goal is too far and too impossible for me. everytime when i'm near, something will be pulled away from me, letting me fall, having to pick myself up again and again and again and again....how many 'and again' do i still have?
I do not know what is the meaning of all these. i think i'll never will.
I am at a stage, which i'm not unfamiliar with, that i do not know what am i doing anymore. what is the purpose of drawing/painting/sketching when all will lead me to continuous disappointments....