Friday, December 28, 2012

the beautiful little girl

the 11-year-old girl at the cancer ward... Eyes and jaw cancer, just had an operation on the other eye...she's blind on both eyes now... smiling and listening attentively throughout our little Christmas cheer, how i wish to hug her, but unfortunately we are not allowed to do so... She has such a beautiful smile, so brave in facing all that has fallen onto her small frail body. My friend the therapist, the one who initiated this little do for the kids with cancer, later shared that this 11 year old girl had cancer on her left eye when she was still very little. Her right eye, eventually received the same fate. The little girl told her mother not to let them take away her right eye...but alas...it has to be taken away... God bless her mother, who is always by her side...taking care of her, loving her, not neglecting her. Unlike the husband, who left the family after knowing his daughter has cancer.

Saturday, December 01, 2012

Jesus

I've always wanted to draw Jesus, but never did for reasons that could only be known between He and I. It was this evening, without thinking much, hesitant still at first, but it was very brief, and there, the very first sketch of Him. The other is my left hand that has been given to me. My hands....my sight...I thank God for them. I've been really dissapointed by many setbacks, especially in my quest to bring my limited skills to the next level. I've prepared mentally and called/emailed...even sketched a drawing, ready for admission submission. but in the end, nothing was sent because after much calculation on the finances and number of years required, my goal is too far and too impossible for me. everytime when i'm near, something will be pulled away from me, letting me fall, having to pick myself up again and again and again and again....how many 'and again' do i still have? I do not know what is the meaning of all these. i think i'll never will. I am at a stage, which i'm not unfamiliar with, that i do not know what am i doing anymore. what is the purpose of drawing/painting/sketching when all will lead me to continuous disappointments....