Saturday, February 25, 2012


instead of reaching for the oils, i decided to just simply sketch with colour pencils today...
it has been a long time since i last did anything like this...


i have finally found the right person to replace me in the office - i think. and i hope my boss will like her too. that she will work well and will not give up easily.

soon, i'll be drifting again....

how can a drifter ever be settled?

this passion of's like falling in love with the wrong the old fashion lyrics: if loving you is wrong then i don't want to be right again...or something like that (gosh, what's wrong with me today)

Monday, February 20, 2012

Sunday, February 05, 2012

About determination

The completed painting with gold leaf added (this photo was taken in my room with the lights off...)


Friday, I interviewed a lady one year my senior for a position in my company (I am looking for my replacement..). She has an IT background, which attracted my attention and curiosity as to why she has applied to work in a totally different scope of work. Maybe, she’s like me? When she arrived, i’ve already sensed that something was amiss…but I brushed it off, saying to myself, that I shouldn’t make assumption of a person I haven’t even got to know yet.

A few minutes later, she completed the application form and I briefly went through them. The sentence: “Hearing Problem. Have problem with low frequency sound” stood out.
I said to myself again, “maybe that’s not too bad. Let’s see how it is at the interview”

It was during the interview session that I realized that hearing isn’t her only problem …I could see her struggling, trying to listen to my every word. I tried to speak louder, but it didn’t help much. She answered me very very slowly, every single word requires so much effort from her and I noticed she never let me complete my sentences, although it didn’t seem to be due to rudeness, it was something else that she has no control over…and that crushed my heart…..

Nevertheless, I proceeded by asking her more in-depth questions. This is what I’ve learnt, after what seemed to be a rather agonizing process for her:
After graduating from the university, she worked for a number of years in the IT line. After some time, she realized that she is no longer capable of meeting the demands of the work. She was not able to respond as fast as her younger colleagues, so she decided to leave the IT sector for good and to do something administrative. From the employment request form, I noticed she never stayed on for more than a year per company since she left the IT job. Without having to ask, I think I know why…I asked her how long has she been suffering from the hearing problem and she said about 2 years now. 2 years ago, she was working at a manufacturing company where the environment was very very noisy. That might have been the reason for her hearing problem.

I have no heart to say that she’s not suitable for our company but at the same time, I didn’t want to give her false hope, so I decided to be frank, pointing out the importance of responsiveness in our line of work since we have to deal with demanding clients.
She looked at me in dismay….

After politely thanking her for her time and seeing her off, I was in deep thought….

I felt sorry for her…she knows she has a problem (and I’m not referring to the hearing problem) yet she is still trying, to give what she could contribute still, to whoever that is willing to accept her….

How sad it must be for her to leave an interview, rejected….most of the time…..

There are so many able bodied, sound minded people out there, frustrated with minor obstacles in life, that includes me…although I’m not too sure if I’m sound enough to my family and friends…but she, she has so many more to face, all these rejections….i hope she will not give up and God, please do let her find the right job one day, soon…