Friday, February 01, 2008

Leaving....to stay on....

(I've posted this sketch before...sorry...i don't have time to even sketch lately..)
Have I shared with you how i became a Graphic Designer,
from a Private Secretary? Maybe later….
Have I shared with you how I started illustrating? (not designing)…
maybe later…
But I would like to share with you now
that i have finally handed in my resignation letter last week....
after almost 8 years....

I think i am a late starter...
I wouldn't say 'late bloomer'
because, I don't think I've really bloomed - art-wise i mean...

In fact, I don't really know if I've come to an ending or the beginning...

why God choose to let you experience certain things only at a certain time
answer your prayer at a certain time...if at all, if that is also His will....
I can only quote my father's favourite phrase:
G.O.K - God only knows...
but I guess, we will all know why,
maybe soon, maybe very much later...but we will definitely realize someday,
it is only a matter of time...
and i'd like to believe that it is for our own good...if it is not answered…
it might take us some time
to accept
especially if it is something that you are so passionate about...
and at this point,
I still do not know if my will is His will…..
And if it is not,
I do not know if I can handle it
Seeing dreams of others realize
While I am still struggling….to improve…

I received this email this morning from a fellow colleague from a subsidiary in another state, after she received the news of my resignation….

"Hi Constance,
Remember I wanted to ask you something on Thursday? Well, I know that you are very busy these two months, trying to clear your workload but if you have the time, can you please draw a "cartoon" pic of me .... and if you have the time, of MR Z and MR J too?
If you don't have the time to do so before you leave M, you can do it AFTER you leave the company. It's not urgent.
This is so that I can look at the pic years from now and remember you (ha!)
Thanks :-) R"

It is a very simple request, but still simple words means much more to me than flowery ones…
It almost brought tears to my eyes…not only because of this request, but for the memories that came flowing back to me of my earlier days with the Group….those great bosses I’ve worked with, who gave me the opportunity, the chance….crazy workmates of past and present….

But it is time to leave….

to give myself a breather,
and although I will be very much poorer…
and friends and relatives might not understand,
I hope I will be happier….

I’ve not sing for a long time
I think today, I will sing again
in the shower :)

9 comments:

Jessica Wong said...

If everyone else in the family do not understand, you know I surely would! I'm quite shocked to read this, I know you've been thinking about it for some time already but it's never easy to make such decision. Anyway, gonna call you right now!

constance said...

thank you cousie!!!! HUGSSS!!!! I know you will understand :) Will chat more when we are in Penang ok!

Shuku said...

Constance, once again I have to say - SO GLAD for you. So very glad. Sometimes you need to step out to find yourself and I really believe you will. Much hugs and support!

--Shuku

Evelyn Fong said...

Hi Constance,

I've just checked out your site to read this announcement. All the best in your new path in life! ^_^

pretty said...

hey when are we seeing each other?

constance said...

Hey shuku :) Thanks again! Hugs! Are you back from your hometown already?

Evelyn, Thanks :) it's been a looooooooongggggg time right? and I think you could see the difference in me when we met up few months back...I really hope to gain back all the weight that I've lost soon and be as crazy as I was before!!! :D

Pretty!!! we will very soon! I've no protocol ok ;) We'll have our fishy day with the rest :)

luisa brehm said...

magical, Constance !!!
everything on it ....
and i love the new look of your blog and to see you ;-))))))))
big hugsssssssssssss

Kay said...

I thought your loyalty stayed with no time limit... Sorry to have taken so long to know that you finally make your move, i was busy with the usual stuff... anyway, I am sure you are making the right decision and the pictures are brilliant. May this move be a good start for you. 100% support you!!!!!

Tammie Lee said...

this is stunning. I wish you a wonderful new life!